Recently, I saw someone write that they are a Hopeless Romantic. This concept I haven't thought about in a while, not since I've been younger. It used to be a sweet concept to me, but after more recent experiences, has taken on a whole different connotation. Yes, I'm nearing 50 and am not nearly as naive as I was. Not cynical, though, and don't think I will ever be.
What it used to mean to me was being able to feel romantic in the present moment. To be someone who pays attention to the needs of their significant other or current interest and fill the connection with thoughtful deeds. Being selfless in attending to the emotional needs of another in endearing ways. Little notes and poems, cleaning the snow off their car, cooking a special dinner, whispering tender sentiments...
What I've learned with my last two relationship attempts is different. For them it meant to look outside the current connection to find that *new* feeling over and over again. It meant romanticizing about potential relationships with others and pursuing them. It meant not having the capability to find it in the moment, thus making it happen in their imagination.
Hopeless, indeed.
Granted, we all live a bit of a made up reality. It's not good to constantly remind oneself of one's faults and more worthwhile to see the potential and try to live up to that. These people lived in a thought and emotional world that was so unreal, it was foreign to me. Never before had someone lied to me so consistently. They lied to themselves even more. We all must live in some denial, lest the world feel empty, but these people lived in some dream world.
I'm not cynical - really I'm not. It was interesting. Intriguing how our thoughts can lead us to such great lengths. It did hurt greatly at the time of the revelation. In hindsight, I learned a lot from that time of emotional upheaval.
I guess I'm a hopeful romantic. :)
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
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2 comments:
Wonderful post and revelation. And you are onto one important fact-at least to me-you can always learn and grow even if it's negative and painful. In fact sometimes those lessons are the most valuable.
Hugs to you!
Wow... what deep insightfullness! I love your definition of romantic.... you have described it so accurately.
The "new, over and over again" types lead shallow lives and eventually get what they deserve.
Was in some old Etsy forum posts and found you again here. Interesting stats you posted. I appreciate personal wisdom and especially the etsy guidance!!!!. I don't know where on earth I thought that an etsy business was going to be easy :) I know where there is passion there will be accomplishment... someday... hopefully soon. Cheers
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